I CAN MOONWALK!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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