Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
