Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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