I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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