He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
