Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You were trust falling into bushes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
