you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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