And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize