Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
