he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
