would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
