my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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