I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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