just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
