Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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