Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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