yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
