i permit you to call me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
