I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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