Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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