Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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