Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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