Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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