Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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