Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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