Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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