So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
