Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
