took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
