She is in my trunk
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
