JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
