Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize