so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize