it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
