Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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