he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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