...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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