it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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