why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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