i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
