so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
