He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
