It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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