What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
