There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
