oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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