Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
