After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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