just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My penis needs a shock collar
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize