youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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