Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
