He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
