hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize