I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
