it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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