lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
