I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
