im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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