You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize