You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
