Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
