I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
