Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
