Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
